It's not Love!

The word Love is one of the most  misused words in existence. For centuries, men have searched for the meaning of love but even great philosophers with their esoteric definitions were unable to fully touch its true essence.

Love is a word that every human tries to/have tried to identify with at different stages of their lives, irrespective of age. It is a word that has severally been misconceived and misapplied.
The word Love can be so efficacious and overwhelming. Its one single word that can evoke even the most extreme of emotions;  excitement,  enthusiasm, anger, fury or wrath.
To different people it means different things.To some, it brings light, hope and treasured memories, while to others it's infuriating and means nothing but pain and disappointment.
Many say that love doesn't exist, some say it's for the weak minded. I think that's cynical anyway.
Ancient Greece has four distinct words for love; agapé,  eros,  Philla,  storge.
Thus, the four categories of love

Storge (Affection)

This is family love, characterized by the display of affection. eg the bond existing between siblings or between mother and Child.
Lewis,  CS described storge as natural (in that it presents without coercion) and emotive (in that it results in fondness due to familiarity)

Eros (Erotic love or Romantic love)

Physical passionate love with sensual desires and urges. It is based on strong feelings. Erotic love alone is based on self benefit and is deficient and fragile. It may not last very long except if it's tested by hardships,  then it can progress to a higher form.

Phillia (mental love)

Close friendship or brotherly love.  It's a higher form than eros because it involves mutual sacrificing.
Friendship is the foundation of every successful relationship and marriage.

Agapé (Unconditional Love)

The highest and deepest form of love. It is selfless; gives and expects nothing in return. Whether it is acknowledged/appreciated or not, the person keeps on loving.  This is the love one shows to a spouse when he/she is being unfair, stops caring, cheats, maltreats or even abuses the partner yet that partner remains faithful,  caring, loving and keeps on praying for the erring spouse.

It's interesting to note that these forms of love were all acknowledged and represented in the bible.
Storge can be seen in the love of Joseph for his brothers, and love of Mary and Martha for their brother Lazarus. (John 11: 21-22)
Eros love is portrayed in songs of Solomon. In Christianity, the expression of this love is only permissible in marriage.
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9   "....but if they cannot control themselves they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"

By passion he means the sensual desires and urges of erotic love.

Philia is the brotherly love that Paul exhorts us to exhibit to our fellow christians (Romans 12:10)
Agapé is the love that God has for us which made him sacrifise his only son.
It encompasses all forms of love.  It's the form of love that God himself is identified with.
Agapé defines the very nature of God. For God is Love. ( 1 John 4:7-8)

Genuine love is summarised as thus;

Love is patient, Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love doesn't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Many a times,  people have confused love with lust, with various  forms of deceptions and self centered emotions. How can these things be confused with the real meaning of love which is so glaring.
When someone i'v met or known  for a while says "I love you" I don't have to ask "do you really mean it ?" Because  it's something I should have known already.
Love is obvious in the way someone talks to you, they way they treat you, react to you, and respond to things that concern your life.
Love is shown in how people rate you, and where they've placed you in their hearts and lives.

What we call love ain't love at all because love shouldn't hurt or harm.

Love is not, sharing your close friend's secret with the whole world, or using the information to plot his/her downfall.
It is not keeping a record of all wrong done to you, waiting for the right moment to strike with revenge.
It's also not it, when you broadcast your charity to a friend in need.
With love, you don't intentionally say stuff that will hurt other people's feelings.
Love is not telling a hungry friend that you have just a packet of noodles whenyou actually have a carton under your bed.
Love is not telling your poor parents back home that you are suffering €€€and dont have a dime to send to them, wheras you are living in luxury and spendng lot of money on your numerous girlfriends.
It's not borrowing when you have it in mind that you'll never return.
Love is not, engaging someone when you have no intention to marry that person.
Love is not, telling your partner that he/she must give you his/her body for the relationship to continue,  nor is it telling her that she must get pregnant to prove her fertility ( and for the guys to prove their sterility) before you decide to marry.
Love is not telling your fiancé that you are a virgin when you've had four abortions and maybe a child in the village.
Love is not trying to drain his bank accounts because he asked you out or proposed marriage.
Love is not violent
Love is not what you have if fear grips you each time your spouse or partner comes around you because you don't know what next he'll do to you.
Love doesn't see two best friends and tries to destroy them for selfish interests.
Love wouldn't do anything that'll put tears of pain  in your eyes.

Love is the greatest of all commandments.
It's not so easy loving genuinely.  The easier way to learn to love people is first fill your heart with the love of God and His Word, then gradually you'll learn to love and tolerate people around you and in your lives.


by Chioma

When God is silent.

One of the most difficult periods in the life of a Christian is when God seems to be silent. There are often times of trials when we desperately need God's intervention and waiting on Him can be really frustrating.
These perilous times are simply trials of our faith.

When God is silent, the devil snaffles the opportunity, comes in and tries to play with our faith and minds. First, he torments your mind and accuses you, telling you what you did or failed to do making you feel guilty about your present condition.

"Satan is the accuser of the brethren and accuses us even before God" ( Rev 12:10)

Then he whispers all sort of lies into our ears, thoughts,  opinions and seemingly brilliant ideas.
"...For there is no truth in him, when he lies, he speaks his native language,  for he is a liar and the father of all lies. " (John 8:44  )

You know, at some point in the storm when all we need is just answers,  it can be pretty difficult discerning the voice of God from that of the devil.  Satan doesn't always come with plain lies, he can present you with What I call "truth-coated lies" or "placebo lies". These are lies that sound so genuine that they make you feel better psychologically.  But beware! Their after effects can be devastating.

Frankly, there are one or two prayer points I still have with me, needs I've been praying for since I was a child, some since my  teenages, others spanning through years now. I'v done all kinds of fasting, sown seeds and I'm still waiting on my ever faithful God.

Really, I've had times when I felt like climbing up to my roof top, raising my hands up to the sky and screaming  "Lord where are you? Why don't you just come down now let's talk face to face, you can't tell me you haven't got a plan, why are you taking me through all these?"
But then, I always remember that God's ways are mysterious, he does his will and no one can question Him.

According to David A. DePra,  A trial of faith is not God tempting us to see if we'll break.  No, it's the way God builds our faith.  Faith can only be built if we are faced with every question and every challenge. Faith isn't real unless it's tested by circumstances, tested by our own flesh and emotions.
Do you think the devil doesn't know this? That's why he asked God to permit him to tempt Job and see. He thought Job would fall ( Job 1:9 -11 )

The trial of faith will always include the silence of God. In fact, I like to see it this way;  God is trusting me with his silence because he knows (and hopes) that I'll come out of my trials victoriously.  God trusted and boasted about Job to satan.
I concur with DePra that the ultimate reason for God's silence is because he wants to give us a revelation of himself and testimony in the end. He wants to take all the glory for Himself
During our trial times, we expose our true selves to God though He knows us already. All our motives and self interest will be brought to light.
Interestingly,  I even noticed that during such times, I develop a better understanding of who I am.  It unravels to me, things I never knew about my self and personality.
Everyone goes through such a period at some points in their lives. It feels like God suddenly packed up, moved far away and left you no forwarding address.

But why does God seem silent sometimes?

Its not because He's unaware of what you're going through,  indifferent or unable to rescue you. He's all-knowing, cares and has all authority.  He may just be testing your faith.

God wants to prove his authority and faithfulness to his children.
Jesus delayed by two days after receiving news of Lazarus' sickness so that Lazarus died. This was so that God will be glorified at the resurrection of Lazarus (Luke 11:4-6 )

Sometimes  when God seems silent, He's busy working things out for you though you might not perceive it immediately.
When God seems silent, it's also possible that we are not tuned into hearing him. We are surrounded by background noises and countless distractions..........Rev. Darryl Mathis.

Also, it may be that we are not approaching God with the right attitude.  We might be approaching him on behalf of our works, on the basis of our knowledge, or because we just feel it's our right and God must give us what we want whether it's in his plan for us or not.

We can equally do things to provoke God to answer us or come to our rescue. Solomon did it when he sacrifised 1000 bulls as burnt offering and God had to appear to him that night in a dream asking him to request for anything he desired.

Here's what I do when God seems silent concerning my situation;

I'm never in a hurry to take action,  I try discerning the voice of God inside me, I try to reason, pray and find inner peace.
I put on a filter to my ears, against the lies and deception of evil people and the devil.
I just try to engage myself spiritually to avoid depression.

If you are going through difficulties, a terrible loss, heart break, disappointment or whatever,  just know that you are not alone. God Loves you and he'll make everything beautiful for you at  the aappropriate time.
God's silence never means absence.

by  Chioma

By their fruit you shall know; part 1

I went aboard a bus going to a particular city. It was an eighteen seater bus filled with all sort of passengers majorly traders and market women. I had just taken a five-day casual leave from work and decided to go for a short vacation.
First thing we did at the park was to pay our fares at the cash point and get our tickets. We were not usually given sit numbers so normally,  the earliest passengers would have to go in and sit down to secure their sits.

The passengers that arrived later would have to make do with the less comfortable sits left, or sit on the attatchment sits which usually do not have a back rest.
Also, passengers sitting on the last two rows ( back sits)  would normally go in first so that they wouldn't have to disturb those on the attachment sits to lift their chairs or get down for them to move into their back sits.
I had already secured my sit somewhere at the middle row and was relaxing over a can of coke with some snacks, waiting for all passengers to take their sits so that the journey can begin.
There was so much noise and chaos around me. I turned round to notice a neatly dressed elderly man standing at the entrance of the bus, arguing and scolding the other passengers.
They were pleading with him to get into his back sit ( since he wasn't doing anything standing outside) so that the passengers on the attachment sits can equally take their sits and relax without further disturbance. He adamantly refused, pouring abuses and curses on them and telling them to mind their businesses.

When the women (some with babies and heavy bags) got tired of standing waiting for him to get in, they got in, sat down and made themselves as comfortable as possible.
Almost immediately,  the driver came in and fired the engine, ready to move.

The elderly man jumped in and started telling those women to get down so he could get in. One of the women,  who was already breast feeding was angry and refused to respond. The man started tongue-lashing again, threatening to deal with somebody.  He spoke in a very arrogant manner telling all that he was a man of high calibre and wasn't sopposed to be in that public transport with us.
He was creating a scene so that the other passengers had to intervene.  Some  had to apologise to him to forgive the women for peace to reign. They equally pleaded with the women to get down for the man to enter so that the bus can move.
Finally,  the women gave the elderly man the chance to get in to his sit and the vehicle took off. For about five minutes there was calm and peace which was well appreciated by all.

Suddenly,  we heared a voice "praise the Living God!  Brethren let us commit this journey into God's hand after which we'll hear the word of God"
There was silence.

All eyes turned, including mine, then silence again.
Note that sharing the gospel in public transport is a normal exercise in this society, so  that's definitely not why we turned.

I turned because the voice was just too familiar,  it was the voice of the same man who had been causing chaos for the past thirty minutes about to share the word of God.
Some spiritualy minded people responded to him, others didn't.  Of course I was going to join in the prayer later but for a while I just sat there staring at him in bewilderment. I wondered if fire and water can emanate from the same source.
For a moment I was ashamed of being called a Christian and I just couldn't help imagining what the other passengers were equally conceiving in their minds too.
Don't get me wrong here, its not like I haven't quarrelled before, but not like this!  Why must we mock God?

An apple tree cannot produce strawberry fruit and  vice versa. A tree is recognised by its fruit. ( mathew 12:33 ).  In other words, a believer is also identified by the fruit of the holy spirit he bears. Jesus was so perfect that he exhibited all the nine fruit of the spirit (Galasian 5:13-26)  in his every day life.

As humans it can be sometimes difficult for us maintaining that standard because the world is full of evil and evil people.  Sometimes we get overstretched and we lose it. Yeah! People and life generally can be frustrating.
There's almost always someone who hates you somehow and shows it, and you may be tempted to hate in return. There are things and incidents around us, in the family, in the office or in our places of business that can always drain joy and peace from our hearts and minds at the end of a day.
People can be so annoying and so each day I ask God for the gift of long suffering and patience to  be able to tolerate others. I'm not perfect myself because I have my own flaws too.
people are discouraged from being good and kind because of their experiences.  People will take you for granted, some will never appreciate your efforts and others will pay you back with evil.  Whenever I show kindness to someone,  I just tell myself that I'm doing it for God.

These days when you tell people "I'm born-again" they just laugh. Yeah! Because they've heared it severally before from people whose lives never reflected Jesus. People are tired of  hearing that statement,  they want to see you being practical.

How do you explain the fact that a young lady who just ministered in the choir on Sunday,  having the whole congregation falling under the anointing is seen a night or two later at some uncomely place, so indecently dressed, drunk with alchohol, consumed by lust and openly defiling her body.
Or a man who takes a sermon or bible reading on Sunday and then goes back to his office the next day to continue his illicit affair with his assistant/secretary. Or to continue with his little official misdemeanours.
I'm not judging people here, I'm just saying we shouldn't be a discouragement to others who are trying to follow God.

God is watching us

"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature and all it's passions and desires so they can live by the spirit "( Galasian 5: 24-25 )

It's not easy but we can try, we can make daily effort as God gives us his grace.

by chioma