How to tell when you're gossiping

Most people like to convince themselves that they don't gossip, they will say they only "discuss " or "gist". It's obvious that many don't even understand the difference between a normal relevant conversation and an idle talk aka "gossip". Let me illustrate with this conversation between two ladies.

Dialogue
Jane :   Have you heard that Ada is getting married soon?
Ann:  Woaw! I'm happy for her. So who's the lucky guy?
Jane:  They say he's from South Africa & he's a very wealthy lawyer.
Ann:  hmmm...it's ok. After all her dissapointment  God has finally blessed her. I'll attend the wedding.

Now check this out.
Jane :   Have you heard that Ada is getting married soon?
Ann:  woaw! I'm happy for her. So who's the lucky guy?
Jane:  They say he's from south Africa & he's a very wealthy lawyer. I heard he's been married before, with 2 kids already from 2 different women. In fact, I learnt his first wife left him when he got another woman pregnant.
Ann:  Really? tell me more! So after her dissapointments this is the kind of husband she ended up with. You know her last boyfriend was an alcoholic & a junkie and he almost killed her. She always came to me for advice whenever they had a big fight. Any way sha, God has blessed her. I'll attend the wedding, let me see this guy with my two eyes.

So,  you'll agree with me that it's very easy to tell when you're gossiping.  The difference is the extra irrelevant details added and it's usually something unpleasant especially about someone's private affairs.
Gossip hurts and damages. If you can't stay away from people who gossip, you can at least try not to contribute to irrelevant gist, that's how I do it.

Total Forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to do. Over half of the people that preach forgiveness don't really know what it truly means, some because they have never been deeply hurt and others because their forgiveness has not been truly tested. Many times, we fail God's test of our so called forgiveness without even knowing it.

Years  ago I had a friend Ngozi who betrayed me, hurting me so badly. Forgiving someone unrepentant can be very difficult but I eventually let go. I didn't know that God would test my heart.

One morning I was at Ngozi's office to see another friend. That day, Ngozi  had made the mistake of leaving her office without asking anyone to cover her duties while she's out. Same day, a very important client came. After waiting unattended for long the man got very angry that he had missed an important meeting just to be there and it wasn't the first time he was having this experience . He decided to withdraw his contract and swore never to transact with Ngozi's company again .

If he leaves, it would be a very big loss to the company because he was a major client. He was about to call the managing director to inform Him of his dissapointment. I thought about it, a worker had previously been sacked for such truancy and negligence of duty and if this man makes this phone call, Ngozi would be in big trouble.

I wanted to do something but then,  the memories of all the wrong she did me began to flash through my mind. She definitely didn't deserve my help. But then I heard this tiny voice inside me  "this is what total forgiveness is really about, if she were your sister or best friend, what would you do for her?"

So, since I was very familiar with the environment, I pretended like I was a new staff (I didn't say that though) and I apologized to the man for the delay telling him that Ngozi had something urgent that needed her attention  and she would be back in no time. I also called my other friend who was a staff to take over attending to the man. Soon, the man sat down again and relaxed.

About an hour later Ngozi walks in. Of course she doesn't know all that transpired in her absence but within me I was glad to know that I had totally forgiven her. That's what Jesus did, even when we are unrepentant.
I'm one of those young ladies that have been deeply hurt and emotionally abused severally in life, by loved ones, by friends, even in past relationships but I chose to let go.
When we forgive and release our enemies to God, He restores  peace to our heart. Mind  you, He will definitely take revenge for you in his own time!.